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ESOMAR Congress Review: The Getaway

September 22 2017

Still looking for that killer session or stand-out moment of inspiration, DRNO's roving / raving reporter Nick Thomas continues to avoid the methodological and technology-related papers at the 70th Congress in Amsterdam. Part 2 of 4.

If you wanted to get away from research for a bit, but still feel like you weren't skiving, ESOMAR 70 was there to help. More global, inspirational stories were to be found in the Wednesday sessions led by New Zealand-born and Dutch-raised solo round-the-world record-breaking yachtswoman Laura Dekker-Thielmann (no smaller number of hyphens would do her justice), and Plastic Whale 'Captain' / founder / ocean-clean-up pioneer Marius Smit.

ESOMAR Director General Finn Raben, who provided a slick and enjoyable link between many sections of the programme, had unfortunately used up his full entitlement of 'Wow's on more quotidian papers, and fell back on speechless admiration for Ms Dekker-Thielmann, as did most of the audience quite frankly, as she described how she battled courts to be allowed to sail off on her own at the age of 14 for a seventeen-month circumnavigation of the globe.

Laura Dekker-ThielmannNo that's not a misprint: alone, round the world, aged f o u r t e e n. Whilst I can't altogether find fault with the Dutch government's reluctance to let a person of this age embark on such a trip, I don't know the details of the obstacles they raised and won't take sides. However Laura (pictured) was eventually cleared to go, and does seem to have completed it in one piece, with little more in the way of setbacks than a lucky escape from losing a foot, a few terrifying storms and a couple of weeks becalmed and potentially running out of food and sanity in the Southern Ocean - described as her worst moment. Turning 22 only this week, she's now married, with a string of achievements to her name (including winning the Dutch reality show Expeditie Poolcirkel in north Scandinavia, in autumn 2014 - thanks Wikipedia for that one https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Dekker ). Her talk was witty and down-to-earth, but she seems utterly fearless - heaven only knows what she'll go on to achieve now she's a grown-up.

A great choice for a keynote and as inspiring as one could ask.

With nary a Tesco in sight in mid-Pacific, Ms Dekker-Thielmann would have provided very little work for the next speaker, whose tale of jacking in normal life to start a company tackling the ridiculous existential threat to humanity that is ocean plastic pollution was no less fascinating.

Although the work Smit's company is doing is extraordinary, it was the first few minutes of his presentation that stayed most in my mind. These were dedicated to telling us how many times he had balked at the idea of pursuing his dream; how only a number of factors entirely divorced from his own inner drive or genius were finally responsible for pushing him into it; and how he considers himself a 'Loser'. Methinks it's easier to embrace such modesty when one is patently Living The Dream and succeeding. I have since tried proudly declaring myself a loser in the office and everyone just nods condescendingly and tries to avoid my gaze.


Anyway, these talks were not much to do with research, but probably the highlight of the week - a fact of which I hope future conferences will take note. There needs obviously to be a balance, and the 80/20 rule is always a good one. So at least 20% about research then [you did see that one coming?].


Greg ShapiroThis same afternoon we got more such, in the form of Greg Shapiro 'Comedian, Columnist, Actor and Author'. As you may know, Greg (pictured) is an American who came to the Netherlands and stayed, launching the Boom Chicago comedy theatre. Already successful with this, he is now world famous for voicing the post-US election YouTube effort 'America First, The Netherlands Second' - well worth a watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELD2AwFN9Nc .

Unsurprisingly he has great affection for the Dutch - people who consider 'Freek', 'Joke', 'Tacco' and 'Sikko' quite acceptable first names, and whose national anthem bizarrely and perhaps uniquely concludes by pledging allegiance to the king of another country (Spain) after bowing to various other nations / monarchs along the way. Despite this, says Greg, they have shaped much of the development of commerce around the world, produced epoch-making thinkers like Erasmus and Espinoza, and quietly dug out Flevoland from the sea to make a new province, a feat probably beyond any other nation on earth but shrugged off as all-in-a-day's-work by the stout burghers of Holland.

Talking of burgers, Shapiro also clearly has a few things to say about the US and its current President. 'Trump's eyes are never fully open... and his mouth is never fully closed' - very astute that one, watch next time he's making a speech. His hands, meanwhile, are 'forever forming a succession of 1s and 0s' (wagged index fingers and thumb/finger circle gestures respectively) which Shapiro thinks is a binary SOS message - 'Please Rescue Us' ! Unlike his many laugh-out-loud moments, I think the idea of a person's hands trying desperately and secretively to escape him had many a delegate chuckling away quietly for a minute or so afterwards.


Reader don't fret, I did go to a few more research-based sessions as well, and will cram a lot of them into part 3, The robots are coming, the polls are bust, and the students aren't paying back their loans - on Monday. Nevertheless, hats off to ESOMAR for recognising that a research conference agenda needn't be hamstrung by the need for constant direct relevance to research. There may have been some delegates who didn't like these sessions, considered them frivolous or ill-conceived - but if there were I didn't meet 'em, and there was a notable buzz of excitement in the Blue Hall at the end of each.

All articles 2006-23 written and edited by Mel Crowther and/or Nick Thomas, 2024- by Nick Thomas, unless otherwise stated.

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